It was after 3 years of relationship with a Muslim man that God clearly told me to stop this romance. Here is what motivated me.
THE CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE
Being Christian means having an inheritance in Christ, a new family, it is a full lifestyle. It is not just praying on Sundays but practicing your faith every day.
- Church or mosque?
Imagine Sis: he will go to the mosque on Fridays and you to church on Sundays. Of course we respect everyone’s faith, but don’t you think it’s better to be able to go to the same place of worship every week and listen to the same message? Furthermore, at the mosque, men and women are separated: would you be comfortable going to the mosque « to please him », perhaps veiled, having no Koran, not knowing anyone? Likewise, he can come to church « to make you happy », but wouldn’t it be better if he truly believed in Christ?
- How to pray together?
Having a spiritual family routine with prayers, fastings and Bible meditation times is an important thing in a Christian home (A family that prays together stays together right?). As the man is the spiritual head of the family, how then can he guide his wife and family if faiths diverge? How to submit as a woman to a man who is not himself submissive to the Holy Spirit and who does not believe that Christ is the Son of God?
Getting married is also about being spiritually bound together, in terms of vision, beliefs and practices. Praying together strengthens sacred union.
For example, my Muslim ex did not believe in spiritual attacks from the enemy via sleep paralysis in particular. How could he cover me in prayer in that case?
- Where to get married?
Getting married at church is between two people who believe in Christ. It is therefore difficult to get married in church if the partner is not of the same denomination. Normally the pastor / priest cannot celebrate this type of union. It would therefore be necessary to make a free or secular union … Personally, it is important for me that God validates my marriage because it is he who created the marriage and it is he who will help us to make it last. - Your personal calling and the mission of marriage
Our purpose as Christians on Earth is to share the gospel and advance the Kingdom of Heaven.
Mark 16:15
He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.
God equips us with talents and burdens. This could be becoming missionaries around the world, opening an orphanage, being a pastor, intercessor … All of this with a divine dimension. Would he be able to follow you?
Genesis 2:18
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
God placed Eve for affection yes, but above all to help Adam cultivate the garden.
Marriage therefore contains a specific mission.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
How will he be able to love you like Christ if he does not know him and does not recognize him as his Lord and Savior? This does not mean that Muslims do not know how to love, but it means that the type of love God wants a man to give to his wife is a Christ-like love, meaning sacrificial. Christ is the standard of love in marriage, but Muslims do not recognize him as a model.
Plus, families is the favourite playground of the devil. In fact, the first murder in the Bible was when Cain killed his brother Abel (Genesis 4: 1-8).
Once the family is destroyed or damaged, it creates inner wounds, generational cycles and curses, jealousy, resentment, lack of forgiveness…
- The risk of a polygamous marriage
No not all Muslims are polygamists, but it still weighed heavily in my heart: since his religion allows it, what would one day prevent him from bringing me other women? In some homes the addition of women is done by agreement of the first woman, but in other cases, it is imposed to her. Even though my ex never asked me, the possibility of sharing my husband was impossible for me to accept.
The whole idea of marriage for me is to be monogamous, I don’t see or define marriage any other way.
- Will he want to tithe?
Tithing is giving 10% of your income to God. Knowing that finances and infidelity are the two most common causes of divorce, tithing can be a source of diagreement in a couple. Tithing is honouring God for the jobby that he blesses us with. It must be done with a conviced and joyful heart.
CHILDREN’S EDUCATION
We do not get married just to have a family, but before the children arrive, an agreement on their education must be in place. Getting married in church also means making a commitment to educate them in the Christian faith.
- Spiritual education
Children reproduce what parents do and teach them. Teaching them two can complicate their religious education and understanding of God. Will they go to Sunday school or take Koranic lessons?What holy book will they read? Although some books are common to monotheistic religions, it can be confusing or intimidating for children to have two. You yourself have problems with the Bible sometimes, don’t you?
- Eating pork
Refraining from pork is one of the obligations in Islam. We tend to forget that marriage is also about the everyday life: cleaning, bills, cooking … (If you ever have shared a flat with friends, you see what I’m talking about). When you live with someone, small things of everyday life can create arguments. If you are used to eat pork you can quit for love but if you like pork it can create tensions over time.
FAITH IN GOD
When you think about it, faith in God should be the number one reason not to consider an mixed marriage. Faith comes through what you hear and what you hear comes from the Bible.
God knows things you don’t and he tries to protect you from a bad union.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
The 3-strands rope in question here is first of all the Trinity but it also applies very well to marriage. As a reminder, we get married before God so we decide that he will be at the center throughout the marriage, not just on the wedding day. You are therefore 3 in this marriage: God, him and you. God is a helper and a source of revelation for the longevity of the union.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Amos 3: 3
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?
To walk means to make life together. You must have the same vision and values to move forward together. This agreement must be agreed upon prior to getting married, during dating.
So sorry Sis but no, love is not enough!
Marriage is not an evangelistic campaign: it is not for you to bring him to Christ but for him to guide you in the Christian faith to move forward together.
You must believe:
– in the authority of the Bible
– that God will console you
– that God will prepare you
– that God will bring you your husband
Watch my full video on the topic (EN subtitles)!
For My Soul Sistas 