We are in a generation that likes to see and watch everything, everyone and anything.
It might be old fashioned but when my date asks me for selfies, I hardly ever send them and it doesn’t reassure me about the guy’s intentionsâŠ
What’s the point ?
Exchanging pics to keep the flame alive in a married couple: no problem. But when we are in dating not official nor dating exclusively, I prefer not to.
We know how it goes: it starts with little innocent pics, then it becomes the upper body, the whole body, the whole body in a swimsuit, the whole naked body ⊠What is he really doing with these images? Personally, I always tell myself that he can share them with untrustworthy people or masturbate with them.
The notion of trust is also very important, why will I send you a part of me if I don’t trust you completely and if we are not official?
« I don’t want to be catfished »
Ok I get it. But the guy can also just google the pics in Google Images (or specified websites & apps) and see what comes out. And as long as we have had a conversation on the phone that add up to the ones we had on social media, you can be a little reassured that that’s the same person I think. A quick video call is also possible.
Out of sight out of mind: The lack of depth
Some will tell you « I miss you, I just wanna see your face ». So you’re telling me that if I don’t send you pictures of me you lose interest ?? If you miss me, how about a video call?
You see that’s the problem with this generation: we like to watch everything. We don’t believe that a thing is true unless there is video, we pull our cell phone out when someone is assaulted rather than trying to help.
A photo is a frozen moment, an object that cannot hold a conversation. So when you ask me for pictures, without ever asking to have a more in-depth conversation that goes beyond « good morning » and good night « , for me that means that you are only attracted by my body and by the image that you have of me.
Having deep conversations allows you to get to know each other, to learn to disagree, to work on the relationship. But selfies only feed your sexual and emotional fantasies, that’s the easy way out.
Lastly, I don’t denigrate the people who send and request the selfies, I just think it has to be measured, in a relationship based on trust and which is going somewhere.
Why not spending hours on the phone, creating our own selfies and memories than to just sending pics ?
For My Soul Sistas 